you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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