We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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