mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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