Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
