ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
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She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
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This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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