I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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