i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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