I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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