i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
