Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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