I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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