we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
