i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
babies were throwing up all over the place
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
