Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
