Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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