Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
