jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
