A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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