yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
