"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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