I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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