Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
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