the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
