so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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