GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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