We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I love you. Go after that dick
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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