My liver just broke up with me...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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