If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
