i don't like sucking hair
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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