The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
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