We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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