Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
