he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize