If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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