Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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