marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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