Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
