At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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