We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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