I just pynch a tree in the face
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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