when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
