I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
