im having a threesome with these popsicles
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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