New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
