That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
