I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize