Fuck appropriateness.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
