who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
