SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize