Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
It's blow job season.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
