He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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