I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
