Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
