Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
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