and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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