just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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