You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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