So drunk, too bad you don't want this
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
