it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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