We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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